Life Right Now

I'm in my late 30's...........that's so weird to say. I know it's cliché but my 30's don't feel old at all. It really feels like I've just begun to live and I'm pretty excited about the next chapter in life.

I just had a birthday (I'm a Scorpio Queen) and usually when birthdays come around, I am full of introspection as is the case with a lot of people I'm sure and sometimes I'm a bit melancholy to be honest. I thought about my life and how far I've come. I thought about what I wanted to do and the potential gifts I could receive or give myself and I realized that nothing was urgent. I did not have a burning need. Of course I have things I desire like anyone else. I'd love to throw an annual themed birthday party but I didn't NEED anything. I sat down to think about this and I am grateful for it.

When I was pregnant, I lost my car, my home and job. I didn't have anything, just a small storage unit filled with the things I did not sell when I had to leave the house I was renting. Just last summer, I was on the verge of losing my car and now it's paid off and mine. I am able to pay my bills, drive my car and I have somewhere to lay my head at night. Is it the three bedroom three bath house with a big yard for my garden, a walk in closet, an art studio and an industrial kitchen? No but I have shelter, food and transportation. I'm healthy(ish) and my kid is healthy. I'm managing stress and anxiety much better. I am stable and content and I'm grateful for that. I have a wonderful village of people that root for me and love and appreciate me for who I am. They have never asked me to change and fully embrace ME, quirks and all. In short, I am blessed and so very lucky.

So I guess this is a birthday post about gratefulness. I am grateful. I have hopes and dreams and things that I desire for sure but even though I don't have them YET, I am still grateful for where I am today and excited to see where I will be a year from now.

Until next time,

B